Perception – It’s All in the Mind

But there are problems we encounter as we perceive things the way we want to and so the road blocks are created…

“There are things known and there are things unknown, and in between are the doors of perception.”     Aldous Huxley

Differences in Personalities: People have distinct personalities and so their perceptions also differ from one another, which cause conflicts and affect their working relationships also. Once we were having a discussion amongst a group of Senior HR professionals from various companies, when one of them said, “Why do we bestow so much magnitude to perception at work, when we have been placed together to attain some common objectives and why not just work towards them and be convivial, why study personalities of individuals and how they think? While recruiting them we should ask each one of them to leave their discernment at home… just work and believe me it will make life much easier and conflict free”.

Alas! If only we individuals were able to do that. Let’s just evaluate people on the quality of their work and personal character.

Valuing Cultural and Regional Differences: Perception of people still influence employment, our HR professionals need to control such things before they go out of hands. If not nipped in the bud, perception towards religions and culture can affect the team work. Let’s accept an individual as an individual entity, forget about the religion they belong to or the culture they come from. For example, do you really get to the level of asking your IT guy which religion he belongs to before he/she touches your computer..??

No, we would not do that in the workplace, then why make perceptions about certain religions and cultures that it starts affecting our relationships and work.

Overcoming Prejudicial Thinking and Office Politics: Assuming unsubstantiated facts and being bigotry towards some people, discriminating on the basis of caste, creed, age, gender, some one being overweight all of these come with having a perception towards these things. I know of many stories, where the discrimination happens because of past experiences, or certain beliefs we carry. For example, we give people names related to the place they belong to, such as Bihari, Punjabi, Mallu and what not?? Why discriminate? Then there are plethora of stories about how one culture is dominant in the company which often disregards all the other cultures.

Cultivate a culture that formally defines appropriate conduct and incorporates company values such as respect, open communication and customer service into the workplace. Team building, training and terminating all barriers within the organization can really work as a remedy.

Handling Those “Difficult People”: For example, sometimes, we may have the perception that the people we are working with are no good at their job, and therefore we may tend to avoid working with them, for the fear of being held responsible for their mistakes and in doing so, affecting our working relationship with our team members, and ultimately, the effectiveness and efficiency of the organization.

Embrace the uniqueness of everyone by encouraging discussions of differences and variation of opinion.

Dealing with Gossip: Another problem with perception is that you attribute intentions to people’s words and actions. Thus when you feel a person is hostile towards you, then even praise from that person can be misinterpreted; when such a person tries to help you, you feel that there is some covert motive behind that action. Perceptions will always be there, since no person can truly know another person; however one’s perception should be based on facts, and not on hearsay / misunderstandings. Where facts are not available, one should always believe that the other person is good.

Clear cut communication and transparency can make things much smoother and a culture of trust makes it easier for people to gossip about mostly other non influential stuff.

Perceptions of Power & Authority: A colleague who used to be your peer, now has been promoted as someone senior to you (not that you are reporting to him/her), suddenly you start perceiving him/her as arrogant or authoritative or develop a negative attitude towards them, why? just because they don’t get time to sit with you for lunch anymore, or because he cannot come out for that smoke break ( popularly called ‘sutta’ break) or he asked you for some kind of report. Isn’t that your perception? Where as the fact is that he is still the same. The other side is we generally tend to perceive power and authority with superciliousness and belligerence, the old school may help you develop such perceptions but the fact can be very far from what you perceive.

Wait!! Just look in to the present, for a while forget about the stereotypical notions you have, or opinions you have formed over a period of time, may be this guy with power and authority may not be the same as others.

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R.S.V.P. – Respond Please!!

“Respondez s’il vous plait” a French phrase which means Please respond or respond please….It seems you all are wondering why we are discussing RSVP here...

Haven’t we been taught that communication is a two way process, and it attains completion when the receiver sends the information back to the sender, isn't it? Aren't these two things related? Expecting a response (RSVP) to know the headcount (approximate) at parties or at a marriage? And how many of us do that? We hardly ever communicate back to the people who invited us, this is a common phenomenon in the West; actually it’s like practicing proper procedures.

Let’s see how we carry out this practice of ‘Please Respond’ at workplace, or let’s say in an uncomplicated language how many times do we complete the process of communication?

Instance One: The entire team knows there is a problem somewhere, but there is hardly a dialogue over that problem during the meeting. Reason can be numerous but the concern is just trouncing in the bags or closet. Hallways, water cooler tête-à-tête will have names of such people and issues clearly been conferred, but where it should be talked about, you will see managers, team leaders and other employees clearly avoiding it, some due to the fear of losing job or some due to trepidation of not confronting their seniors.

Please respond and discuss the issue, isn’t it how good leaders and managers communicate??

Instance two: Vivek, has been anxiously waiting for the outcome of the interview (for the position of General Manager- Marketing) in Company A; such protracted wait is making him more anxious as already it has been more than 3 weeks, consultant was very affirmative about the entire episode but the call has not come so far. Before he really gets perturbed, he decided to take up another job with some other company. It may not be a loss for any of them, but then the image he will carry about company A will surely go around through word of mouth.

Here again, the company failed to complete the cycle of communication and the words please respond are just hanging in the air.

Instance three: This case talks about an employee who has been harassed for almost a year for a letter of confirmation, which he needed desperately to get some loan from the bank. Every time he sent a mail to the HR department asking for the same, the buck was passed saying that no information has come from the Head of the Department. All mails to him (THE HOD) also could not resolve the issue and the pressed time lines for getting the loan also troubled this employee. The employee made up his mind to depart from the company.

The request of such nature fell on deaf ears of the HR department and the organization, the result- loss of a talented employee. What is wrong in responding, providing feedback or just communicating by any means or mode of communication to complete the communication process? The solution- Respond please.

Instance four: The tedious cycle of performance appraisal is over, forms submitted, ratings given, performance evaluation done, and now the process is nearing an end with giving appraisal letters and raise. The letters come to you through a peon or may be your team leader/supervisor and with just “congratulations” it is handed over to you. No more comments, no recommendations, no other talks, no feedback given; Wow!! Is this what appraisals are all about? This is what an employee expects at the end of the cycle?? Ask yourself, you have all the answers, just try wearing that shoe..it will surely pinch…

There have been many such instances; we come across everyday at the workplace and most of the time the problem usually pertains to “Respondez s’il vous plait”.

Communication is an integral part of any system or organization but still our managers/ leaders fail to walk the talk, you will hear a new jargon related to this every other day be it empathy, feedback, business communication, effective communication and what not, but when it comes to setting a right example by doing something, it is still in a sorry state of affairs.

Ironically, may be we should all start writing/speaking R.S.V.P. to get the response from the receiver to complete the progression, as our Managers/leaders truly require practice in the art of communicating effectively.

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Interpersonal Skills – Good Boss

So you have got your promotion, moved up the ladder, have a larger team to handle now – well many congratulations to you. But the question is, are you prepared for such a role right now? With the skills you possess, the knowledge you hold and the great insights you have, are you able to encompass interpersonal skills and pay heed to the needs of your team? or allow me to  put it this way- Do you have the appropriate interpersonal skills to become a good boss?

As we move up the ladder we believe that all the things that we have acquired so far along with all the success will continue to foster further success in the future as well, though this might not be the case always. With growing success and positions we need to cultivate certain behaviors or skills which will help us in managing the large work force with a high success ratio.

We have had enough discussions on bad bosses, bosses who abuse; as they are the legends of the game :)…but why not for  change talk about those who played a key role in making us what we are.

I have been fortunate enough to have some good bosses too, and will share some of the experiences with you all.

Here is a Story: I met Patrick during the interview, immediately after the first meeting we both decided to work together, the gelling was such that the enthusiasm could be seen in the eyes. Even when we were in a different locations (he was placed in Germany (HQ) and I was in India), he made sure that the learning curve grew consistently over a period of time. He never interfered in any of my decisions but made sure that I did an analysis of all the pros and cons; helped me in understanding global HR practices, so that I could prosper in the company. With high EQ, he taught me to empathize with people and then reconsider decisions, policies and procedures. He was truly a people’s person-humble and very popular amongst all the employees in various regions as he was the Director HR Asia Pacific.

Similarly, have you ever considered what are the qualities you appreciated in your ‘good’ boss? In order to inculcate the same in yourself just enlist them and start working. Some of these are:

Communication skills: As a boss how you interact with team members can be seen from your communication skills and it could either make or break the interpersonal relations. The tone, pitch and choice of words can easily express the behavior and interpersonal skills. Special emphasis on honing listening skills is empirical to be successful with people around you. Team members want to know if they are being heard.

High on EQ: In order to progress, one must have shown all the intellectual skills with consistency, now is the time when one needs to sharpen the skills of being a people’s person, and the best way out is empathy and genuineness. Think from their viewpoint, what would be best for them and also for the company. Provide solutions keeping in mind the team member’s welfare and growth. Appraise them- just a pat on the back may be, or occasionally sitting with them and having lunch, just like Mr. Adi Godrej started taking lunch once in a week in the Company’s cafeteria with all the employees.

Proper delegation: Delegating the right amount of authority with responsibilities is actually an art, and very rarely are people connoisseurs of this art. It only comes when the Manager knows the strengths and weaknesses of his/her team members properly, and then delegation happens with appropriate skills. Practice also makes people perfect in the art of delegation, initially there are times that one might not get the desired results and make mistakes but it does not mean that the chosen one is not the right person for the assigned work. Give them another chance and then rate them on the scale of success.

Cheering: Encouraging taking of initiatives, thinking out of the box and every time you have given an idea instead of refuting it down (S) he ensured that you understood the repercussions and then decided to go ahead with those ideas. Cheering reflects the vision of a person, how he plans to take his team ahead and thinks about their growth path and succession planning too. As I say, a compliment a day can make your employees happy and gay!

Decision Making: Though it has been talked about in delegation, but we will deal with it as another interpersonal skill required in a ‘good’ boss. They not only take good decisions themselves with people’s participation but also inculcate the same in their teams as well. Learning comes from trial and error and such bosses will always encourage taking some ‘not so good’ decisions too, although not at the stake of their business.

Less Interference: Personally, I really liked this in my boss that he hardly ever interfered in my work areas, however he taught me a lot, and still he used to manage to keep himself away from many things which now a days is a difficult task for some insecure managers/bosses or the legends referred to as the ‘bad’ bosses.

Sense of humor: One should know how to keep healthy humor flowing in the team, with some witty remarks, sometimes sharing of anecdotes and good jokes. While giving feedback to the team one should always keep some humor handy so that things can be handled positively.

Interpersonal skills depend a lot on your intra-personal skills! So make a preference and instill these aforementioned qualities and skills in yourself and who knows you may end up being the next ‘GOOD’ BOSS!

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